Another LOTR fanfic
by Chiyo Chocolate
Summary: Chiyo: I can't give u a summary
1. Chapter 1 Gandalf's staff

Chiyo: Arg! Word-perfect Froze! Oh well, I'll start again Chiyo: Hi this is Chiyo speaking to you and I will be your authoress today. This fic is based on Lord of the Rings (as you already know), enjoy the fic ¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿ Gandalf: (angrily) Frodo, Frodo, Frooooodo! Where could he be? Frodo: (annoyed) I'm right here. Gandalf: ah there you are (grins evilly, eyes flash) I have a little surprise for you. Frodo: (shakily) For Foooor Foooorrrrr me meee meeeeeeeee? Gandalf: (hisses) yes, yes you do have a surprise. Frodo: (shakily) wha whaa whaaaatttttt iiiiiiiiiiiisssss iiiittttt? Gandalf: (hisses) well, if you really must know... (grins and talks cheerfully) Happy Birthday! Frodo: Oh Boy! It's my birthday! (Long pause) It is? I don't even remember having a birthday. Gandalf whacks him in head Frodo: x.x °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° 1 Hour Later Frodo: Wha What's today? Gandalf: Today is the 28th of January. Frodo: Hey that's my birthday! Oh boy! Gandalf: Yes it is. Happy Birthday, follow me. Frodo: My head's sore. Gandalf: (mutters) That's because I hit you with my stick Frodo: WHAT! Gandalf: um... erm.. I thought you were a pinata. Frodo: There's going to be a pinata. I love pinatas! Can I have a monkey pinata? I love monkeys! Gandalf: Yes there's going to be a monkey pinata. Frodo: Will my siblings be here? Gandalf: Zucchini & Hashbrown? Frodo: yeah Gandalf: of course. Frodo: Will there be a band? Gandalf: Yes, The Smashed Pumpkins Frodo: Will my uncle be here? Gandalf: yes (thinks) how am I gonna get out of this???? Gandalf whacks Frodo with his stick. Frodo: x.x °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° While Frodo is unconscious. Gandalf: What do I do, I promised him his siblings and uncle... Legolas: Call them Gandalf: The Smashed Pumpkins to play for him... Legolas: Call them Gandalf: and a monkey pinata. ?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿? That was chap 1, in the next chapter, will Gandalf whack Frodo with a stick?????? 


	2. Chapter 2 Legolas's cellphone

Ok here's chap 2 ?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?  
  
Legolas: Call th... Walmart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! = )  
Gandalf: Ok, give me your cell phone.  
Legolas: Why? I like my cell phone. I don't want it 2 get hurt.  
Gandalf: I need to use it.  
Legolas: As long as you don't break it, or get fingerprints on it, or drop it in the dirt, or whack it with a stick.  
Readers who r not Legolas fans: enough!  
Gandalf: Ok Legolas: and that you don't drop it.  
Gandalf: Ok Legolas reluctantly hands Gandalf the cell phone.  
Gandalf grabs it and drops it.  
Legolas: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
I'm never letting you touch my stuff again!  
Chiyo appears with catchers mit Chiyo catches it in her mit and hands it to Legolas.  
Chiyo: Why do you have a cell phone anyway? You're an ELF! This is LOTR, not the REAL world!  
Legolas: oh um... Because it looks cool.  
Chiyo: Good answer. It is pretty cool.  
(Not supposed to be online today)  
Chiyo leaves.  
Gandalf: Now can I use your cell phone?  
Legolas: No!  
Gandalf: Please?  
Legolas: No!  
Gandalf: Pretty please?  
Legolas: No!  
Gandalf: FINE!  
Legolas: FINE!  
Gandalf: I'll just use mine!  
Legolas: Then why did you want to use mine?  
Gandalf: yours looks cooler.  
Legolas: Good answer. It is pretty cool.  
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°  
  
Somewhere far far away Chiyo: Why does everyone have a cell phone??? I don't have a cell phone! I don't really want a cell phone but it's the principle of the thing.  
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°  
  
Gandalf takes out cell phone and dials Hashbrown's number.  
Gandalf: (conversation with Hashbrown) Can you come to Rivendell today?  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?  
  
Can Hashbrown come 2 Rivendell? Find out in the next chappy. 


	3. Chapter 3 The Manager's Hat

The next chappy ?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?  
Hashbrown: Today?  
Gandalf: Yes, today! Today is your brother's birthday!  
Hashbrown: I'm well aware of that, and Zucchini, Bilbo, and I are IN Rivendell for your information! Where are you guys?  
Gandalf: In Rivendell.  
Hashbrown: yes but where?  
Gandalf: Outside Legolas's house.  
Hashbrown: Ok.  
Gandalf: bye Hashbrown: sucker Gandalf: (conversation with the manager of The Smashed Pumpkins)  
Gandalf: Can your band please come to Rivendell to perform for a strange birthday boy?  
Mandager: No.  
Gandalf: Please?  
Manager: No.  
Gandalf: I'll pay you $1 Manager: $2,000,000 Gandalf: $10 Manager: $1,000,000 Gandalf: $50 Manager:$25,000 Gandalf: I'll buy you a hat, a really big one.  
Manager: We'll be right there Gandalf: bye Manager: loser Gandalf: (puts away cell phone) There's one last thing I need to do.  
Legolas: What's that?  
Gandalf: Go to Walmart for a monkey shaped pinata.  
Legolas: Ok Gandalf: Can I borrow your car?  
Legolas: NO!  
Gandalf: FINE!  
Legolas: FINE!  
Gandalf: How about your horse?  
Legolas: (thinking of what terrible things could happen to Maude.) NEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!  
Gandalf: (cowering) Ok, Ok, I'll ride my own horse.  
Legolas: Then why did you want to borrow mine?  
Gandalf: Your car is cool and Maude is actually a nice horse. (To answer Legolas's questioned face) My horse has grown to hate me. Ever since I stabbed him with my stick.  
Legolas shudders ?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?  
Geesh I just realized the fans on, & I can't turn it off! : ( 


	4. Chapter 4 No Plot

still shivering ?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?  
Gandalf: ACCIDENTLY!  
Legolas shudders again Gandalf walks off.  
Chiyo appears with Portia the chicken, (who was a kitten, but was accidently turned into a chicken while Chiyo was Iming (I hate automatic spell check) sibbie.  
Legolas: What are you doing here?  
Chiyo: It's a lot warmer here then it is infront of the computer. I'm staying here.  
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° An Hour later Gandalf is back with a monkey shaped pinata.  
Frodo is awake, his family is there, and so are The Smashed Pumpkins.  
Frodo: oh goody, the pinata is here! Oh boy!... What's with the really big hat?  
Hashbrown: Frodo, why do you have an extremely large head bump?  
Frodo: Gandalf thought I was the pinata.  
Everyone except Gandalf and Frodo: O.o Chiyo: Ok, Ok lets get this show on the road, stop making faces.  
Everyone except Chiyo: O.o Chiyo: Hey you guys get over here!  
Midnight, Crystal, and Sibbie appear Midnight is carrying a backpack with a chicken sticking its head out.  
Crystal is holding a manga.  
Sibbie seems to be off in her own world.  
Crystal: What?  
Chiyo: I need you to help me get everyone back to the plot of the fic.  
Sibbie ignores her and runs and talks to Legolas.  
Midnight talks to The Smashed Pumpkins Midnight's chicken talks to Portia.  
Chiyo gives up and talks to Legolas Crystal rolls her eyes and stands in front of everyone.  
Crystal: QUIET!  
Everyone except for Crystal: O.o Crystal: Ok peeps, back to the plot of the fanfic.  
Frodo raises his hand Crystal: Yes Frodo Frodo: What plot?  
Chiyo: What do you mean by what plot?  
Frodo: this fic doesn't have a plot.  
Chiyo: Yes it does.  
Frodo: No, it doesn't Chiyo: Everything has a plot.  
Frodo: What about those books for babies that are like Baby sees a tree.  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?  
Hear more of the annoying book for babies in the next chapter! 


	5. Chapter 5 The Annoying Book

The annoying book for babies ?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?  
Do you see a tree?  
Baby is a tree hugger.  
Are you a tree hugger?  
Baby sees a flower.  
Do you see a flower?  
Baby is a hippie.  
Are you a hippie?  
Baby sees you.  
Baby says Hi.  
Say Hi to baby.  
The End Chiyo: Everything else has a plot.  
Frodo rolls his eyes.  
Chiyo: If it has a climax it has a plot.  
Frodo: This story doesn't have a climax! (Chiyo glares) Fine, be that way.  
Everyone except for Frodo: O.o Chiyo: :P Crystal: Anyway, you guys are not following the plot.  
Frodo rolls his eyes.  
Crystal: Please stop this arguing, um... do you all have your scripts?  
Frodo: I lost mine Gandalf: Mine ended up in little pieces somehow.  
Legolas: Gandalf borrowed mine (glares at Gandalf)  
Gandalf: Legolas's ended up in little pieces too Hashbrown: I left mine at home Zack: My dog ate it Bilbo: What script?  
Sam: I gave it to the needy Gollum/Smegal: S: Our script is with our precious. G: Yes and where is our precious?  
Frodo: I have your stupid ring but not your stupid script Gollum/Smegal: S: The little hobbit has our precious. G: We must embarrass the little hobbit.  
Frodo: Huh, I thought you were supposed to say "We must kill the little hobbit" Gollum/Smegal: S: New Year's resolution.  
Frodo: Oh Crystal: SILENCE!  
Everyone except for Crystal: O.o Crystal: Ok, you all will get new scripts, brand-new scrips, but please get this show on the road.  
Frodo: Oh goody, new scripts! Oh boy! Oh boy!  
Chiyo gives everyone new scripts.  
Everyone studies the scripts.  
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° ?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?  
That was chapter 5, I think... 


	6. Chapter 6 The Dare

An hour later.  
Sam: Hello Meester Frodo, Happy birthday.  
Frodo: Thanks Sam Gollum/Smegal: S: You have my birthday present. G: He has OUR birthday present.  
Frodo: O.o Gollum/Smegal:G: Now we will embarrass you Frodo: O.o Gollum/Smegal:G: lets play truth or dare?  
Frodo: Oh goody a game! Hey everybody we're playing truth or dare!  
Everyone except for Gollum/Smegal: Yay!  
Gollum/Smegal: G: Since it was our idea, we'll ask first. SS: ince Master is the Birthday boy, we'll ask him.  
Frodo: Oh goody!  
Gollum/Smegal: Truth or dare?  
Frodo: um... truth no DARE Gollum/Smegal: I dare you to climb a tree and chase a squirrel.  
Chiyo: Yay!  
Legolas: You came up with that, so y r u cheering?  
Frodo: That's easy.  
Frodo goes over to a tree. He tries to climb it but can't reach the first branch. He jumps and still can't reach it. He goes and gets a rock, stands on it, and jumps. He STILL can't reach the branch.  
Sam: You make me sick! Picking on a poor little hobbit who is on a mission to save Middle Earth. You should be ashamed of yourself!  
Gollum/Smegal: G: We are. We are ashamed of ourselves for making a New Year's resolution NOT to kill anyone.  
Everyone except for Gollum/Smegal and Frodo(who is still trying to climb a tree): O.o Legolas: You should see a psychiatrist.  
Gandalf: I'll take you to the psychiatrist.  
Legolas: No! The patient will end up in pieces if you take him!  
Gandalf: Then you take him!  
Legolas: I don't want him to ruin my cool car!  
Gandalf: Then I will take him.  
Legolas: No! Everyone, raise your hand if you want to take him.  
Gandalf raises his hand.  
Legolas: Not you! Defiantly not you! Is there no one else? Sam? Hashbrown? Zucchini?  
Sam: No way! He'll try to kill me.  
Hashbrown: Eww! No! He's a creep!  
Bilbo: No way Jose!  
Legolas: My name's not Jose, my name's Legolas!  
Chiyo: (dreamily) He's absolutely right Bilbo: Sorry Lego Lass.  
Mob of angry fan girls (including Chiyo & Sibbie) carry him off.  
Zucchini: Why is everyone looking at me? No! I will not take him!  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?  
Who will send the creep to the psychiatrist? 


End file.
